What Jesus was being asked by the Pharisees was where he stood concerning marriage and divorce. He left them in no doubt about his position, emphasising that marriage is a state of life created by God himself, a lifelong union between one man and one woman kept together by a pledge of love and loyalty made in the presence of God. It’s a union that cannot be undone, so when a couple marry there is no power on earth, short of death, that can free them to remarry. “What God has joined together we must not separate.” We are called then to reflect on the dignity of marriage and the permanence of the marriage commitment. This is a question that is surfacing more and more in today’s church as Christians are bombarded from all sides with the worldly view that lifelong marriage is unacceptable. Few beliefs set us so much apart from the world as Christ’s teaching on marriage which directs us to obey God and not humanity.
Life could be described as a journey, and marriage is two people making that journey together in partnership. The wedding day is but the starting point when the church blesses the couple and family and friends gather to celebrate their departure and to wish them good luck for the road ahead. The sight of newlyweds pledging themselves to each other stirs something deep within us. It’s an acknowledgement to the community that their lives have taken a new direction through the power of love, which demands mutual respect and trust of each other. Together they go forward to meet the rough and the smooth of life and to weather the storms that even true love cannot escape. The church’s blessing and family smiles are no magic wand to smooth the way for instant happiness.
A good marriage must be created. It’s not so much about finding the right partner as being the right person. In marriage the little things are the most important, like speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It’s having the capacity to forgive and to forget which means never going to sleep angry. A married couple cannot stand together and face the world unless their union is based on love. Love is what cements and binds that relationship together for life. It’s a hope and a trust that has to be lived down the years through the good times and bad times. Love can be easily reneged upon and then marriage fades away and dies. The solemn pledge, made at the altar of God, to love each other for better or for worse, should not trip lightly off any tongue.
Fr Peter Tipene
